Thursday, May 3, 2012

Look out people...she's on the juice!

I'm not an 'accident-prone' person.

I am however a 'had grown people diseases & problems when I was younger coupled with weak lungs, a sensitive digestive tract & a system that refuses to tolerate the top 6 antibiotics on the market forcing my doctor to break out the Big Drug Book he hasn't seen since med school & prescribe me something expensive, weird & so left field they haven't even thought about having a generic for it yet' person.

Sadly, most forms at the doctor's office don't have a box to check for that second sentence.

Here's the thing: I hurt my hand.

While trying not to be a wienie about it I chocked it up to sleeping on it funkily (I know that's not a word but you know what I mean) or doing an obscene amount of filing recently. After a few sweet attempts from Judd to hold my hand (that left me shrieking in pain) and a morning of trying to use my mouse with my left hand (um...not gonna happen) I called the doc.

Of course, when I looked it up online I knew it was fatal & I should get my affairs in order but I just couldn't see how it was broken without being swollen or bruised. To be honest, I felt kind of silly going to the doctor for an ouchie but hey, it really hurts & I've got to meet my Blue Cross deductible some way, right?

After trying not to cuss when the doctor pressed on the sweet spot that sent me jumping off the exam table I was glad to get this mess seen about. It's not broken (Yay, but more on that in a bit.) but it is an acute case of Tendonitis. That blows but I'll take it over a broken bone - even in my very dominant right hand - any day of the week. Yay to that for several reasons in no particular order:

1 - I don't want an itchy, nasty cast that I can't wash under for no telling how many weeks. Ew.

2 - I don't want to debate about which color to get aforementioned cast in.

3 - I can't feed myself left-handed. Seriously. It's kind of gross when I tried at lunch. Maybe a new weight loss plan though....

4 - Besides starving myself, my left hand cannot brush my teeth, put on make up or anything productive. It's only use is to hold a shiny ring on a very specific finger. Ahem.

5 - Broken bones kind of freak me out because they never really heal 100% and it makes me think of the last few moments of Breaking Dawn Part 1 where Edward's venom is healing Bella as it turns her & her bones knit themselves back together. I fear I'd be on the constant lookout for guys who shimmer in the sun so they can bite me.

Instead of vampire venom, my doctor went the traditional route & prescribed me a hefty dose of steroids. Just when I'm getting in the groove of walking every day & watching what I eat. Great. On the plus side maybe I could lift Judd over my head or arm wrestle his brother while I'm all roided up on the juice.

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