Thursday, October 4, 2012

The ABC's of ME

Hi Everyone!!
Here is something a bit different for you all, its a post that I read on another beauty blog so I figured I would give it a whirl and you'd have a bit of fun info about ME...
A.  AGE: 33
B.  BED SIZE: Queen
D. DAY: Thursday
H. HEIGHT:  5' 2"
I. INSTRUMENTS: I can play the piano just a little bit.
J. JOB TITLE: Legal Assistant for 1 more week (the firm I work for is closing) :(
K. KIDS - not yet
L. LIVES - Alabama
N. NICKNAMES: A bunch here, mainly from grandparents & parents: kitten, pumpkin, sugar pumpkin, kiddo, doll, etc.
O. OVERNIGHT HOSPITAL STAYS: I was a very puny kid so it would be depressing to list them all here. 
P. PET PEEVE: Oh! I've got lots. People smacking food, gum or just in general. Being interrupted in a conversation. Those are my top 2.
Q: QUOTE FROM A MOVIE: 'You are the butter to my bread, you are the breath to my life.' Julia Child to her husband Paul in Julie & Julia.
S: SIBLINGS: Two sisters. One 9 years older than me, the other 7 years older.
U: UNDERWEAR: Pretty. Don't care what brand as long as it's comfy & pretty.
V: VEGETABLES YOU DISLIKE: This is a toughy since I'm a chef & I love to eat. I guess eggplant would be one of my least favs but I still like it in Ratatouille.
W: WHAT MAKES YOU RUN LATE: Not much. I'm habitually early.
X: X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: Referring back to letter O - too many to list here.
Y: YUMMY FOOD YOU MAKE: All of them baby! I'm a chef!
Z: ZOO: I went to the Wild Animal Safari in Arkansas. It was so much fun! I had a little monkey climb all over my & try to get the antibacterial gel out of my purse! LOL

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

My Labor Day 2012

Some people use the long weekend of Labor Day to enjoy one last hurrah before saying goodbye to summer.

I picture happy families grilling out by the lake with a hammock in the background. And a dog. There's always a dog. Usually a Labrador.

None of that customary, bland nonsense for me! No sir!

I spent this Labor Day calling 911, mentally reviewing my CPR basics, cleaning up puke & poop & counting the ceiling tiles of DeKalb Regional Hospital.

To sum it up....
Grandmother (the one I live with as her caretaker, henceforth referred to as 'Bud') was fine one minute, scary sick the next. A press of her Life Alert button (and a quick call to Mom) brought EMT's and an ambulance while Mom & I were working with Bud & praying like nobody's business. This was scary stuff. At one point Mom was holding her wrist CHECKING FOR A PULSE while I was in her face trying to get her to talk to me.

Fast forward to ER....
Bud is scanned from head to toe and been given lots of meds to calm her stomach & ease her dizziness. (I told the EMT's & ER peeps I thought it was vertigo. This will be important later.)

13 hours later....
We are STILL in the ER & have not been seen by a doctor. Nurse practitioners are great, but can I get a freaking MD in this place???

Sometime later...
Bud is FINALLY admitted (still no doctor has even looked at her) and we are told a doctor will see her tomorrow. The nurses were sweet & very attentive on a positive note.

What do ya know? A real, live doctor graced us with his presence! We felt honored pissed that after a mere 25 hours from arriving by ambulance Bud finally gets seen by someone who has $200K in student loans. He ordered more tests.
On a side note we watched Bama whip Michigan so that was neat. Roll Tide.

Turns out those guest chairs in hospital rooms are very cozy to sleep in. Wait, am I halucinating from lack of sleep & searing back pain? Yes. Ok, they must be well-disguised torture devices made by people who hate human spines.
All results come back negative which is good. No heart attack or stroke. All signs point towards vertigo. *cough* told ya *cough*

Bud enjoyed some broth, ice chips & a hearty dose of meds. Lots of naps followed. We were told she might be busting outta there tomorrow but that may just be a nasty rumor. She graduated to mashed potatoes & boiled chicken which she ate with gusto! Somewhere in this mix my sweet Judd came in & we made several types of jell-o, broths, rice & pudding to greet the patient when she came home.

I had clients that were coming in from out of state so I had to go to work while Mom stayed with Bud. I literally squealed when Mom's text read, "We're coming home!"

And THAT folks is how you have an exciting Labor Day.

Friday, July 20, 2012

This Just Pinned!

My top 5 pins for this week.

#1 - Changeable Mantel
This one is a Christmas theme using felt snowflakes from the DOLLAR STORE & double-sided tape. I aspire to be this kind of homemaker, changing things around for the seasons & then posting nauseatingly adorable pics on facebook & such so that others feel jealous inspired. pin

#2 - Game Day Dresses from T-Shirts
I'm gonna need to pilfer through the Mr.'s gargantuan Alabama t-shirt collection & go all Martha Stewart to whip up a fancy game day dress that is a bit more than what I've found. Too many are a plain crimson dress with a Bama "A" stuck on it so they can jack up the price to $60. Bonus: the Mr.'s shirts are all 100 years old & have been washed a zillion times so they are super soft! pin
#3 - Easy Nail Art with a Bath Poof!
This is SO CUTE! Maybe a lighter color for the base? Black is a bit goth for my taste. Maybe a dusty pale pink or a soft grey? Oh, and nix the ghetto fabulous rhinestone.
It reminds me of Sally Hansen polish strips in fishnet stockings but I'm not about to pay $10 for some stickers. Sheesh. pin
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a nice Dagwood as much as the next gal but sometimes I just get to the point where I cannot ingest another freaking sammich!!! This link has hundreds of ideas that will keep me from eating 2 Cliff bars, dry cereal, half a thing of Tic Tacs & a stale Milky Way something else for lunch. pin
#5 - Metallic Paint to Transform Old Furniture
When the Mr. & I set up house (hopefully before I'm too old & decrepit to do any of this crap) I would love to transform our mismatched furniture into Pottery Barn-esque pieces such as

Thursday, June 28, 2012


I feel a need to pin things that are delicious, beautiful, clever, funny or even the odd ones like how to turn a vintage wine barrel into a sink on the off-chance I'll own a farmhouse in Venice.

It could totally happen.

Don't judge me.

Some of my recent pins are:
GENIUS!  to put screw or nails in the right place, photocopy a template
Using a copier to mark exact nail or screw placement. Brilliant! pin

nice way to do something with crackle!
A new way to use crackle nail polish! pin

drink holders
For that awesome backyard I'm going to have one day where everyone wants to hang out. pin

Paper flower with quilling
For that um...gathering I hope to have where I leave with a different last name. Ahem. pin

An easy taco ring that could be a fast dinner or a cute party

Cinnamon Bun Scarf Tutorial
Can I pull this off? Who knows...but I'm gonna try! pin

I hope to be the kind of Mom who thinks of things like this for my kiddos! pin

And one just for fun (cause it's SO TRUE!)

Monday, May 14, 2012


Maybe one day, I pray not too far from now, I will have a happy, lazy Saturday with Judd in our own place.

Maybe a load of laundry gets done, maybe it doesn't.

Maybe we eat breakfast at 11 and stay in our jammies until 3.

Maybe we have a clean-out-the-DVR-party with a marathon of reality shows.

Maybe I make a cheater dinner by heating something I've frozen batch-style months ago.

Maybe my freezer looks like this

Maybe we read the entire paper outside while drinking tea.

Maybe we get a thrill out of cutting the coupons.

Maybe we take a luxurious nap simply because we have found the ultimate comfy spots on the couch.


Thursday, May 3, 2012

Look out people...she's on the juice!

I'm not an 'accident-prone' person.

I am however a 'had grown people diseases & problems when I was younger coupled with weak lungs, a sensitive digestive tract & a system that refuses to tolerate the top 6 antibiotics on the market forcing my doctor to break out the Big Drug Book he hasn't seen since med school & prescribe me something expensive, weird & so left field they haven't even thought about having a generic for it yet' person.

Sadly, most forms at the doctor's office don't have a box to check for that second sentence.

Here's the thing: I hurt my hand.

While trying not to be a wienie about it I chocked it up to sleeping on it funkily (I know that's not a word but you know what I mean) or doing an obscene amount of filing recently. After a few sweet attempts from Judd to hold my hand (that left me shrieking in pain) and a morning of trying to use my mouse with my left hand (um...not gonna happen) I called the doc.

Of course, when I looked it up online I knew it was fatal & I should get my affairs in order but I just couldn't see how it was broken without being swollen or bruised. To be honest, I felt kind of silly going to the doctor for an ouchie but hey, it really hurts & I've got to meet my Blue Cross deductible some way, right?

After trying not to cuss when the doctor pressed on the sweet spot that sent me jumping off the exam table I was glad to get this mess seen about. It's not broken (Yay, but more on that in a bit.) but it is an acute case of Tendonitis. That blows but I'll take it over a broken bone - even in my very dominant right hand - any day of the week. Yay to that for several reasons in no particular order:

1 - I don't want an itchy, nasty cast that I can't wash under for no telling how many weeks. Ew.

2 - I don't want to debate about which color to get aforementioned cast in.

3 - I can't feed myself left-handed. Seriously. It's kind of gross when I tried at lunch. Maybe a new weight loss plan though....

4 - Besides starving myself, my left hand cannot brush my teeth, put on make up or anything productive. It's only use is to hold a shiny ring on a very specific finger. Ahem.

5 - Broken bones kind of freak me out because they never really heal 100% and it makes me think of the last few moments of Breaking Dawn Part 1 where Edward's venom is healing Bella as it turns her & her bones knit themselves back together. I fear I'd be on the constant lookout for guys who shimmer in the sun so they can bite me.

Instead of vampire venom, my doctor went the traditional route & prescribed me a hefty dose of steroids. Just when I'm getting in the groove of walking every day & watching what I eat. Great. On the plus side maybe I could lift Judd over my head or arm wrestle his brother while I'm all roided up on the juice.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Shabby Tissue Box part 1

I'm crafty.

Not look-at-the-macaroni-necklace-I-made-in-girl-scouts kind of crafty but rather Martha Stewart should be worried kind of crafty.

Yep. I said it.

Recently, my sweet Judd gave me a random bag of prizes from Target & I immediately saw projects in my future!

The first one being to use these bright, cheery napkins.

The J could be for Judd/Jennie! :)

I found this wooded tissue box at my favorite bargain store Salvation Army! It even had a base coat of white paint on it already!

The price was a whopping... 

50 cents! Sold baby!

So I separated the napkins (they were 2-ply) and cut very messily around the designs. Then I glued them down in a cute pattern. 

Why not just glue the napkin 'as is' on the sides? Because it didn't fit correctly, leaving a border of nothingness around the sides which my OCD deemed unacceptable.

I didn't even bother using fancy Mod Podge. Plain old Elmer's works just fine for the super thin tissue paper.
I tried to leave the paper somewhat crinkled so it would have texture but it flattened out a good bit when I put the top layer of glue on.

This is as far as I've gotten because life, being ever abundant, has paused my craftiness.

More to come...

Target Beauty Bag

Some of the beauty bloggers I follow know all kinds of info before it goes public & one of them is when the Target Beauty Bags are available.

Let me explain...this is a FREE bag from Target containing several deluxe-sized samples. EEK!

It was leaked exactly when the bags were available & I'm not ashamed to say I logged on way too early & refreshed my page until I got through.

Behold! The results of my labor:

Besides the cute bag (see previous post for another mention of my bag-hoarding tendencies) I got the following:

L'Oreal's Magic Lumi Light Infusing Primer (it's says MAGIC! FUN!)
Neutrogena's Visibly Bright Facial Cleanser
Nivea's Extended Moisture Lotion (Judd is a Nivea addict so this will be a fun little prize for him)
Pantene's Flat to Volume Conditioner
Simple's Facial Cleansing Wipes

AND a little booklet of some pretty high-dollar coupons for beauty products from Target.

Well worth my repetitive refresh clicking!

Friday, April 27, 2012

April Birchbox 2012

I don't really do a lot of things just for myself but I do subscribe to Birchbox for $10 a month. (I've all but stopped eating out at all during the work week so I justify the money.)

The feeling I get when I see that hot pink box in the mail is probably more thrilling than it should be. It's like a little box of surprises!

Here's my April box
Now COME ON! Who wouldn't squeal just a bit when they see that?!

Every month has a theme, this time it was 'Natural Wonders' with all natural products for spring. Usually the paper inside is hot pink as well (Christmas was silver glitter) but this time it was lime green - cute!

#1 Juice Beauty Oil-Free Moisturizer:

This uses a 'blend of juices such as organic apple, grape & pomegranate' instead of water like most other moisturizers. It doesn't have any actual blemish clearing ingredients but the hyaluronic acid is a good replacement for oils. Retails $28/2oz

#2 Atelier Cologne Orange Sanguine Petite Cologne Absolue:

That's a really long fancy name for something that smells like Orange Clean. Seriously, I wanted to polish my furniture with this stuff. Retails $55/30ml

#3 Erno Laszlo Active pHelityl Soap 

First of all, I know this is a SAMPLE box but that has to be the tiniest bar of soap I've ever seen! (Just ask Judd, I know my share of tiny/mini/travel sized products!) This claims to balance pH levels in the skin which should be great for uneven skin tone & blemishes. Audrey Hepburn was said to only use this on her face. Next time I plan to eat pastries outside Tiffany's I'll wash with this first to get the full Audrey effect. Retails $40/6oz bar (gulp!)

#4 Pur Minerals 4-in-1 Tinted Moisturizer

I'm not huge on tinted moisturizers. I mean, if I'm gonna take the time to shmear something on my face I want to see some results. This has a moisturizer, primer, tinted foundation & SPF 20 in it. It might be nice for the SPF factor. Retails $34/1.7oz

BONUS: MicrodermaMitt Body Mitt

When I first pulled this thing out I thought it was a little bag to store crap in. Let me just tell you now, when Hoarders comes to my house I'm gonna be the lady with a freaky amount of little bags & boxes. I love them! Can't get enough! Then my goober self read the card & saw that it was an exfoliating mitt! EEK! Perhaps second to my love of organizational bags & storage boxes is exfoliating! Seriously. When you see me rest assured you are gazing upon a fresh layer of skin. It totally grosses me out to have dry skin so I am a big fan of buffing, scrubbing, sand blasting, whatever it takes to get that mess off me! Retails $28.50/mitt

THOUGHTS: I'm ok with the moisturizer. I've been using it for about a week now & I like how light it is but doubt I'll switch from my Clean & Clear Dual Action Moisturizer. The cologne was horrible, made me think of citrus Pledge. I haven't used the little bar of soap yet but I'm kinda excited to try something my gal Audrey liked. The tinted moisturizer is just eh. I'll use it for the SPF and that's about it. The game-changer in this box was the mitt. A full-size $28 exfoliating mitt is a nice bonus in a $10 sample box.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

I feel pretty

I'm cheap as hell thrifty.

I like drug store beauty products (stacked with a coupon & sale of course) but swoon over incredibly high end luxuries. I then scour the web & consult my army of beauty bloggers for dupes. It's like a game. Or war. Whatever.

Treating myself is something I don't normally do because of the guilt (seriously, like a Jewish Grandmother!) in my head so I decided a manicure is just the ticket. NOT a salon manicure where you can catch your death from a nail file these days (I warned you I have a Jewish Grandmother in my head) but one of my own design - FOR FREE!

This was my Easter manicure using Wet N Wild's Tickled Pink with an accent nail (yep, I'm 32 & doing an accent nail like the 20-somethings!) of Petite's Vintage Grey & Mary Kay's French White dots.

I was so excited to be all fancy that I posted it on my fav beauty guru's page & got so many sweet comments! Check it out HERE.

I'm thinking this should become a Sunday night thing. 

It makes me feel pretty.

And it's free.

And nice comments from people in the beauty world makes me feel special.

Don't judge.

Oy vey.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Our Date with Doogie Howser

I've heard of that maternal instinct phenomenon where mothers can sense their child is in danger but I experienced it in a different way with Judd.

NUGGET: For the slight few who venture to this blog (hi Mom) I will spare the details as you already know them but to nutshell: Judd had a seizure & collapsed outside of Walgreens filling his Rx after being diagnosed with bronchitis.

I had talked to him several times that day & he promised to call me after triple-checking with the pharmacist that the new Rx had NO adverse reactions to his current army of meds. So I waited 10 minutes forever!

Calls & texts were left unanswered so I began to panic like Def Con 4 slightly. I called Mom & told her I had a bad feeling (see intro sentence) and knew something was wrong.

When he answered the phone he was conscious & in the ER at Gadsden Regional without a soul on the planet there with him.

NUGGET: His parents were THANK HEAVENS already on their way back from visiting his sister Mary in Arkansas & I was in Fort Payne as usual just coming in from work.

As soon as he got the first sentence out of his mouth I started packing a bag & getting in the car. I cannot tell you the number of times I prayed - maybe it was one big honking prayer - but the Good Lord & I were having a serious chat then, rest assured.

The trip there was horrendous interesting. I decided to get off the labyrinth that has become I 59S & travel (read: speed like a Fast & Furious stunt driver) US 11 but somewhere along the way my nerves overtook my brain & I made a wrong turn. A WRONG TURN!?!?

I can honestly say I have no idea where all I was except a nice old man in Leesburg gave me wrong directions which led me to a tiny diner in Hokes Bluff. From there I followed a waitress (whose father was the Chief of Police) with flashers on & pedals to the metal.

In the parking lot I thanked Christy (kinda neat her name has CHRIST in it, no?), gave her all the cash in my wallet ($22), got her cell number & ran into the ER where Judd's room was empty.

I will pause here to let you insert your own version of the terror & hysterics that ensued.

Judd came back from CT & I think I chapped his face with kisses. My AWESOME parents were on their way to be of comfort to me, to fill in for Judd's parents until they got there, because they love Judd very much & their general aforementioned awesomeness.

The next tango was between the following cast of characters:
* Doogie-Howser-aged doctor popping in rather pushing for an OK on a spinal tap
* Judd's mother Dana (via cell phone) frantic in the car decidedly NOT wanting a spinal tap
* Mary (also via cell) calling upon her nursing education trying to guide Judd towards the right decision
* My parents (again, via cell) who had gone to KFC because it is now 10 p.m. & Dad's diabetic
* Most importantly: Judd who is being so strong despite his fears & patiently waiting for God's direction
* Lastly, little old me who is in constant contact with all of the above trying to stall the impatient Doogie, assure Dana we won't rush into anything, listen to facts & risks from Mary, implore my parents to suck down the chicken & get the heck back here & of course be there for Judd. It's his body so ultimately the decision is his so we prayed about it. Several times. Like, to the extent that I grabbed his hands & started, "Dear Lord" and Judd sweetly said, "Baby, do you know you've prayed like 3 times in the last 5 minutes?" Ha

NUGGET: Judd refers to the spinal tap as a lumbar puncture because it makes him think of the horrible band & equally horrible movie. :)

The spinal tap lumbar puncture went as well as it could but I can't imagine how much it hurt Judd. I was allowed to hold his hands & talk to him & I even understood the unspoken rule of not beating the snot out of Doogie for stabbing my love with a needle long enough to be in a horror movie.

Insert 45 minutes of waiting on the results where my parents got back, Judd's parents were almost there & by the Grace of God Judd drifted off to a very deep sleep.

By then my blood sugar had dropped & I was quite shaky so Mom convinced me to go in the waiting room & eat my chicken they had brought back for me. I sat down next to Dad & inhaled the food. Seriously. It was not attractive. There was a man sitting directly across from me who actually got up and left! I'm sure I looked like a tribute from the Hunger Games as I gnawed on the bones.

Doogie came back in with a big smile on his prepubescent face & told us there was no spinal meningitis, intracranial hemorrhaging, bacterial infection of the brain, swelling or several other so-freaky-it's-diarrhea-inducing possibilities.


By now his parents are here & hugged mine as they left so we all shared the good news together with much hugging & deep sighs following.

He was discharged with Doogie's "best educated guess" of a perfect storm of spiked fever, severe sinus infection and a possible underlying minor virus.

I watched this man drift to sleep all safe in his bed while still trying to wrap my mind around his abundant strength, God's Amazing Grace & the unbelievable odds that he actually picked me. :)

Monday, April 2, 2012


Could I BE any further behind in posting little nuggets about myself on my blog so I feel important & interesting? I was totally not thinking and even hearing it in his voice Chandler Bing on the first part of that sentence.

Well now, where to begin?

Judd & I are freaking awesome. We've been dating a little over 17 months.

NUGGET: At what point to you switch months to year & fractions?

It's like a mom who says her kid is 24-months-old.

24 months? Why not just say 2 years? Why make me divide 24 by 12 & then question my math even though it's simple to figure out but I have arithmetic phobias?

Maybe it's a denial thing about kids growing up.

On second thought I'm probably going to be way over the top & only use days instead of months so when my walking, chatting, goldfish-cracker-eating toddler captures someones - ahem - every one's attention I will proudly say that he/she is a mere 730 days old. Then I will push my shopping cart into the next aisle whilst they fish for the calculator app on their smart phone which I STILL will probably not have because I cannot justify paying for the data package.

Anyway...I digress.

Judd is simply amazing. Feel free to gag. I shall go into a further nauseatingly loving post devoted to only him later. Then you can really gag.

Let's just go with the nugget thing & see where it takes us.

NUGGET: I'm still living with my precious grandmother (aka Bud) and although I don't remember praying for patience God has wisely seen fit to show me yet another area where I am lacking. It's interesting being a live-in caregiver to an 87-year-old.

When we're not pulling our hair out because one frustrated the crap out of the other, we get along famously. We really do have a lot of laughs & not just because I try to make time to watch Wipeout & Funniest Home Videos with her. It is still a blessing & privilege that I get to live with & take care of her.

NUGGET: My weight is up.

I got that from a friend & thought it was a much more ladylike phrase than,
"I'm getting a little heavy on the hoof," or
"Even my humongous granny panties are more snug than usual," or
"My butt & hips are getting so wide I could haul grain to market."

Sigh - the list could go on but I choose to demurely say that my weight is up as I fold my hands neatly in my lap & ignore the bag of peanut m&m's in my purse.

Since I refuse to buy clothes in a bigger size the lack of breathing ability will serve as motivation to get so super skinny that people mail eating disorder pamphlets to my house anonymously in shape.

NUGGET: I have a weird lip thing.

I'm not exactly sure what's going on but from the looks of things I'm having an allergic reaction to something.

This event has turned my family into a Sixteen Candles-esque group who thinks it's hysterical to say I'm allergic to kissing Judd. It's like I'm Molly Freaking Ringwold & someone is about to grab my chest & proclaim how my boobies are growing in nicely. Oy vay.

Well, since I'm trying to blog more I guess I should save some for later....