Monday, April 2, 2012


Could I BE any further behind in posting little nuggets about myself on my blog so I feel important & interesting? I was totally not thinking and even hearing it in his voice Chandler Bing on the first part of that sentence.

Well now, where to begin?

Judd & I are freaking awesome. We've been dating a little over 17 months.

NUGGET: At what point to you switch months to year & fractions?

It's like a mom who says her kid is 24-months-old.

24 months? Why not just say 2 years? Why make me divide 24 by 12 & then question my math even though it's simple to figure out but I have arithmetic phobias?

Maybe it's a denial thing about kids growing up.

On second thought I'm probably going to be way over the top & only use days instead of months so when my walking, chatting, goldfish-cracker-eating toddler captures someones - ahem - every one's attention I will proudly say that he/she is a mere 730 days old. Then I will push my shopping cart into the next aisle whilst they fish for the calculator app on their smart phone which I STILL will probably not have because I cannot justify paying for the data package.

Anyway...I digress.

Judd is simply amazing. Feel free to gag. I shall go into a further nauseatingly loving post devoted to only him later. Then you can really gag.

Let's just go with the nugget thing & see where it takes us.

NUGGET: I'm still living with my precious grandmother (aka Bud) and although I don't remember praying for patience God has wisely seen fit to show me yet another area where I am lacking. It's interesting being a live-in caregiver to an 87-year-old.

When we're not pulling our hair out because one frustrated the crap out of the other, we get along famously. We really do have a lot of laughs & not just because I try to make time to watch Wipeout & Funniest Home Videos with her. It is still a blessing & privilege that I get to live with & take care of her.

NUGGET: My weight is up.

I got that from a friend & thought it was a much more ladylike phrase than,
"I'm getting a little heavy on the hoof," or
"Even my humongous granny panties are more snug than usual," or
"My butt & hips are getting so wide I could haul grain to market."

Sigh - the list could go on but I choose to demurely say that my weight is up as I fold my hands neatly in my lap & ignore the bag of peanut m&m's in my purse.

Since I refuse to buy clothes in a bigger size the lack of breathing ability will serve as motivation to get so super skinny that people mail eating disorder pamphlets to my house anonymously in shape.

NUGGET: I have a weird lip thing.

I'm not exactly sure what's going on but from the looks of things I'm having an allergic reaction to something.

This event has turned my family into a Sixteen Candles-esque group who thinks it's hysterical to say I'm allergic to kissing Judd. It's like I'm Molly Freaking Ringwold & someone is about to grab my chest & proclaim how my boobies are growing in nicely. Oy vay.

Well, since I'm trying to blog more I guess I should save some for later....

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