Friday, January 21, 2011

Popping Pills


I don't get into all the mystical mumbo jumbo of astrology but my good friend Brooke does. She informed me a couple of weeks ago that Mercury was in retrograde. This apparently means that all mammals go nuts and flip out. Hmmm...yep that pretty much sums me up lately.

You see, it all started because I was happy. And that made me stupid.

(cue flashback music and soft-focus montage)

(enter a tall, handsome man)

After the Year of Sorrow in 2010 my doc suggested (ok, down right insisted) that I go on Prozac. It was all well and good until I realized the 2 very important catches with such medicines:

#1 - When God, the Rx and life in general starts to improve, it's easy to miss a dose.

#2 - They really mean it when they tell you not to abruptly discontinue use.

I felt life somewhat returning back to normal & stopped taking them. Cold turkey. Not my smartest move.
Then things sort of snowballed.

Three weeks off the Prozac, Mercury apparently freaking everyone out, female biology (ahem), and the tiny fact of coming across the 1 year anniversaries of painful events does not make for a pleasent Jenn.

I'm afraid those closest to me - Mom, Dad, Bud & New Guy - are feeling the brunt. Last night I felt more like myself than I had in a while. It was nice to see myself again. But around 10 a.m. this morning I was on the roller coaster again. Poor New Guy got caught up in a facebook IM with freak out Jenn. It wasn't even 20 minutes later (after he abruptly signed off to escape) I realized how stupid I was. Sigh.

At least I can feel myself coming back a little.

Sometimes there's nothing left to do but beg God to calm me down and ask him to not let me ruin any of the wonderful relationships He's blessed me with.

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