Trick or Treat

For me, the official 'Holiday Season' starts with Halloween.

As soon as the pumpkins come out I get all excited and break out my Monster Mash Party Hits and watch Hocus Pocus and Practical Magic.

Last year I had the opportunity to go a real live costume party with a significant other. Since I was part of a (married) couple I wanted to dress as stuff that went together. What? I'm so not the only one.

I compiled a long list of possibilities: Peter Pan and Wendy (Yep, with tights. I can't begin to describe how fast that one was nixed.); Dorothy and The Tin Man; Dorothy & The Lion; Dorothy and The Scarecrow (notice a pattern here?); Sara Palin & a Mousse (trust me, at the time it was hysterical; A Pirate and Wench, etc.

None of these were acceptable to Mr. X and the party was a week away so I took matters into my own hands and bought the last two coordinating costumes at Wal-mart. Bacon & Eggs.

And no, for the love of Pete that is not Mr. X and me.

Fast forward a year. Halloween is coming up again and I have a costume party to go to . The hunt is on for a (slightly slutty) fun outfit and I thought more than once about wearing my wedding dress covered in fake blood. Too much?

Is it too hard to ask for a costume that emphasizes my boobs, gives me an excuse to wear my glitter makeup I've been hoarding since junior high, is something recognizable so I don't have to explain what I am all night, goes with my black knee-high boots I always want to wear and says, 'Come hit on me,' 'But only if you are employed, unmarried and don't live with your mother.'?

I know that's an aweful lot to ask of flimsy material made in Taiwan but if I could get that all for under $50 that would be great. K? Thanks.