Look out people...she's on the juice!

I'm not an 'accident-prone' person.

I am however a 'had grown people diseases & problems when I was younger coupled with weak lungs, a sensitive digestive tract & a system that refuses to tolerate the top 6 antibiotics on the market forcing my doctor to break out the Big Drug Book he hasn't seen since med school & prescribe me something expensive, weird & so left field they haven't even thought about having a generic for it yet' person.

Sadly, most forms at the doctor's office don't have a box to check for that second sentence.

Here's the thing: I hurt my hand.

While trying not to be a wienie about it I chocked it up to sleeping on it funkily (I know that's not a word but you know what I mean) or doing an obscene amount of filing recently. After a few sweet attempts from Judd to hold my hand (that left me shrieking in pain) and a morning of trying to use my mouse with my left hand (um...not gonna happen) I called the doc.

Of course, when I looked it up online I knew it was fatal & I should get my affairs in order but I just couldn't see how it was broken without being swollen or bruised. To be honest, I felt kind of silly going to the doctor for an ouchie but hey, it really hurts & I've got to meet my Blue Cross deductible some way, right?

After trying not to cuss when the doctor pressed on the sweet spot that sent me jumping off the exam table I was glad to get this mess seen about. It's not broken (Yay, but more on that in a bit.) but it is an acute case of Tendonitis. That blows but I'll take it over a broken bone - even in my very dominant right hand - any day of the week. Yay to that for several reasons in no particular order:

1 - I don't want an itchy, nasty cast that I can't wash under for no telling how many weeks. Ew.

2 - I don't want to debate about which color to get aforementioned cast in.

3 - I can't feed myself left-handed. Seriously. It's kind of gross when I tried at lunch. Maybe a new weight loss plan though....

4 - Besides starving myself, my left hand cannot brush my teeth, put on make up or anything productive. It's only use is to hold a shiny ring on a very specific finger. Ahem.

5 - Broken bones kind of freak me out because they never really heal 100% and it makes me think of the last few moments of Breaking Dawn Part 1 where Edward's venom is healing Bella as it turns her & her bones knit themselves back together. I fear I'd be on the constant lookout for guys who shimmer in the sun so they can bite me.

Instead of vampire venom, my doctor went the traditional route & prescribed me a hefty dose of steroids. Just when I'm getting in the groove of walking every day & watching what I eat. Great. On the plus side maybe I could lift Judd over my head or arm wrestle his brother while I'm all roided up on the juice.

I hate to say it but...

I hate to say it but when I pose a question to my boyfriend on facebook (instead of the usual text or facebook chat or yahoo messenger) it's because I want people to see how freaking adorable we are and gag.

And when said boyfriend replies via text, facebook chat or yahoo messenger to my public facebook wall question it leaves me just hanging and appears to my 640 closest friends that I've been FACEBOOK WALL JILTED!

And then they couldn't see the freaking adorableness that is us....and gag.

Hearts, Chocolates & Eye Rolls

Valentine's Day is great and all. Really, I'm a big fan. Hearts all around.

But listen, we need to go over a few things.

Like taking pictures of the flowers and chocolates your sweet patootie sent you and posting them on facebook.

Just don't do it, okay?

It's the love equivalent of Farmville.

You're much better off sending pictures of your love loot to the select girlfriends who will be the most jealous. That way, you get the Valentine's envy you desire without making your other 564 facebook 'friends' roll their eyes and gag.

I know it makes me sound like I have Love Day issues but I really don't. I just happen to like getting better flowers than all my friends.

Don't judge me.

Popping Pills

WHAT THE CRAP IS GOING ON?!?!

I don't get into all the mystical mumbo jumbo of astrology but my good friend Brooke does. She informed me a couple of weeks ago that Mercury was in retrograde. This apparently means that all mammals go nuts and flip out. Hmmm...yep that pretty much sums me up lately.

You see, it all started because I was happy. And that made me stupid.

(cue flashback music and soft-focus montage)

(enter a tall, handsome man)

After the Year of Sorrow in 2010 my doc suggested (ok, down right insisted) that I go on Prozac. It was all well and good until I realized the 2 very important catches with such medicines:

#1 - When God, the Rx and life in general starts to improve, it's easy to miss a dose.

#2 - They really mean it when they tell you not to abruptly discontinue use.

I felt life somewhat returning back to normal & stopped taking them. Cold turkey. Not my smartest move.

Then things sort of snowballed.

Three weeks off the Prozac, Mercury apparently freaking everyone out, female biology (ahem), and the tiny fact of coming across the 1 year anniversaries of painful events does not make for a pleasent Jenn.

I'm afraid those closest to me - Mom, Dad, Bud & New Guy - are feeling the brunt. Last night I felt more like myself than I had in a while. It was nice to see myself again. But around 10 a.m. this morning I was on the roller coaster again. Poor New Guy got caught up in a facebook IM with freak out Jenn. It wasn't even 20 minutes later (after he abruptly signed off to escape) I realized how stupid I was. Sigh.

At least I can feel myself coming back a little.

Sometimes there's nothing left to do but beg God to calm me down and ask him to not let me ruin any of the wonderful relationships He's blessed me with.